


My Moonflower, My Love

by wlwpedrettis



Category: Dani and Jamie, Jamie - Fandom, The Haunting of Bly Manor, damie, dani clayton - Fandom
Genre: F/F, gay shit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:27:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27195794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wlwpedrettis/pseuds/wlwpedrettis
Summary: What if Jamie had been able to get to Dani in time to save her?
Relationships: damie - Relationship, dani / jamie
Comments: 16
Kudos: 293





	1. Chapter 1

Jamie, still half asleep, reached over to bring Dani in her arms, just like she had yesterday when she woke up, just like she did last month when she woke up, and just as she had done every morning in the years they had spent together. To her own sleepy surprise, she didn't feel her lover laying peacefully next to her as per usual, she didn’t feel the warmth radiating off her body or felt her chest moving up and down slowly. All she felt was the cold sheets where Dani was supposed to be, and her chest felt like it was caving in. Jamie  _ knew.  _ She knew exactly where Dani had gone, and she was bloody terrified. She was going back to Bly, to the home of their deepest, darkest nightmares. Jamie had had this dream, or better said, nightmare, before, She’d wake up, Dani would be gone, and Jamie would head out to the damn lake herself, following blindly after the au pair, but she was always greeted with the worst. This time though, she knew it wasn’t a dream, it was real.

Quickly jumping up, Jamie saw a note on the nightstand, reading it with trembling hands, it confirmed what Jamie already knew. The loopy words, just as delicate as they would be had Dani said them with her own voice.

_ Jamie,  _

_ Your love has made this all worth it, I’m sorry I can’t stay. I have to go, you know I do, you know there’s nothing I would like more than to stay in this house with you, surrounded by the life of our plants and love. Your love has been my lifeline. Your love is life, but I’ve always known the principle that every life will one day end, just like Hannah, just like Eddie, just like the moonflowers. That’s where all it’s beauty lies, you know? The mortality of the thing. Yet, I can’t help but find myself thinking love cannot die, I’ve come to that realization from your love, something so pure, so honest, it must not have an end. Our love is immortal, and it will be with me always, just as I will be with you. Even after I do what I have to do. Dead doesn’t mean gone. _

_ Yours forever, Dani xx _

Dani was going back to Bly to finally allow the lady in the lake to take her, forever. The gardener raced quickly out the door and to the streets to hail a cab, giving rushed instructions for the man to take her to the infamous Bly Manor.

The drive felt drawn out as Jamie stared at the ring on her finger, overwhelmed with emotions. She was scared, so goddamn scared that she would never be able to be with Dani again, never hold her, or kiss her, or make dinner together. She was terrified she was losing the one person who meant the most to her in this god forsaken world. Jamie was also angry, angry that the lady would accept Dani’s offer to possess her body, that she would torture her poor girl, no matter how far they’d ran. She was angry that so much time had gone past and she’d grown tremendously accustomed to sharing a life with Dani, only for it all to be ripped away at the lady’s beck and call. For a moment, a brief, heart wrenching moment, Jamie was angry at herself. Mad for finally allowing someone into her life, knowing she could be ripped away at any moment, and she was. This was that moment.

Upon arriving at the manor, Jamie felt a lump form in her throat as her chest tightened. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe, but she was, unlike Dani if she wasn’t on time. She froze for a moment as her feet hit the ground, taking in everything around her that she hadn’t seen since  _ that  _ night, then she remembered Dani, her lovely lady who was about to do something really stupid, and before she knew it, the gardeners feet started moving swiftly beneath her feet, being drawn to the lake, just as Dani had, only for a different reason, or maybe not. Sure, Dani had been drawn to the lake because of the lady, but she held off, the only reason she went when she did was to protect Jamie. It was all for love. That was exactly why Jamie was here as well, to protect her everlasting moonflower, her love. 

As she reached the lake she looked for signs of life, anything to know Dani was alright. She slowed down a bit to examine the terrain, both hopeful and helpless as she neared closer, but as much as she wished, she knew Dani wouldn’t be above the water, waiting to be whisked up and saved away by her loving wife. Jamie knew she would be down below, so without a second thought, she walked in.

Jamie shivered a bit as the cold lake water continued to rise up, or rather, she went down, but she continued to wade into the deep, before taking a deep breath and going completely under, swimming eagerly through the eerie water. She examined the bottom below her, before looking straight ahead. That’s when she saw Dani, sinking slowly down to the lake's unsettling bottom.

Jamie was tired, so, so tired, but she fought, she mustered up all of her will and thrashing down in the invisible prison, towards the au pair, she almost took in a breath of relief as she grabbed Dani’s arm, her lungs were burning with a desperate despair for air, but she couldn’t, she knew where they were and how fast she needed to react, and she did react  _ fast.  _ As if swimming around in a lake wasn’t hard enough, she was now pulling herself and her wife out of this rubbish, eagerly, but quickly. Once reaching the top, Jamie gasped for air, for a split second she thought Dani would emerge, bringing herself back up to breathe in life once more, but then the realization hit her, she’d been pulling dead weight this whole time. So Jamie pulled, she pulled Dani up herself, trying to keep herself afloat along with the blonde beauty as she swam back to the shore. Once they got back to the bank Jamie layed Dani softly on the land, and without a second thought, she began to perform CPR on her. 

Sobbing violently Jamie cried out, “Please Dani, please don’t do this!” But Dani did not reply, only laid on the muddy ground, stiff and cold. Jamie turned to the lake, her hoarse voice crying out to the lady, “let her go! Please, let her go.” Jamie collapsed on Dani’s chest, sobbing with the last bit of the energy she had before continuing on the CPR.

That’s when it happened, as if the lady in the lake had answered her prayers, Dani coughed up the water from her lungs and allowed life to flow back into them.


	2. Chapter Two

Despite the terror of the lady in the lake that lingered in the darkest fears of Jamie and Dani’s years together, they persisted, never letting it beat them down, besides the few moments where it all got too much, but it was still peaceful. They had been each other's nightingales on the footsteps of hell, the way they would cuddle up next to one another, hands intertwining as a perfect fit. The way they’d walk down the street together, stealing glances to not let the cruel outside world in on their love affair. The way they’d stare into each others eyes, silent conversations in the dim light of the fire. They were a beautiful, colorful sky following the pouring rain, peaceful, they were each other's lovers and friends. Jamie had been afraid of love before she met Dani, but Dani was full of it and spread it like wildfire.

Jamie was the deity who lingered in the shadows, she’d never liked attention, unless it came from Dani, of course. She was the peace in the garden that extended from her soul and touched everyone around her. With the most gentle and pure intentions, with her hands in which she holds the universe, she treats everyone as a plant she must nurture. Jamie was the epitome of positivity, even if her exterior didn’t always show it. Her optimism never faltered, even in the darkest of times when some would think there was no hope, Jamie fought. Just as she had with the moonflowers, replanting them over and over in the fields, even if she knew there would only be one night of their beauty for her to see, it was worth it. Jamie was everything, being with her was like being home, but also being on a much needed vacation.

Despite the darkness lingering in the deep corners of her being, Dani was sunshine, her eyes the sky, just as she had always been. She would get down sometimes, but always arose, shining brighter than ever. Her footsteps grew softer with each one she took, for the sound of it made her self aware, and on some days she just couldn’t handle that. The cracks and bruises in her soul from the lady in the lake show through, but out them seeps gold, and it touches everyone around her. Dani was gold, in every form, her nurturing heart, her brilliant mind, the way she saw the world, everything was gold. She bathed in the gold, hurt by it, but also healed, she embraced it, it was hers. For she was the gold.

Dani was full of life, until she wasn’t, and it was the worst thing Jamie could’ve possibly felt, but boy did she feel it. After pleading for the lady of the lake to let Dani out of her grasps and come back, Jamie had secretly lost hope, just for a moment, she felt helpless. Yet, she continued on with trying to bring Dani back with her own two hands, and it worked. The gardener wondered if the au pair, who for a brief moment was nothing, but the hollow shell of what was once her own, allowed life to seep back into the very bones of her body, or had it been the lady in the lake? Hearing Jamie's cries for her lover to return, pleading to release her from the same hell that’s held the lady for however long. Jamie wondered, who brought her back? But she didn’t need to worry about that right now, because no matter the answer, she was back.

The moment Dani did allow the air back into her lungs, Jamie changed from a cry of mourning to a cry of happiness as she whispered over and over, “thank you, thank you, thank you,” clinged to her, Jamie tightly wrapping her entire body around Dani, and Dani did the same, without a second thought. The aching in her chest from the water and the chest compressions was irritating, but Dani didn’t wanna be thinking about how much her chest was hurting, she wanted to be thinking about how much love she felt for Jamie.

After holding each other for a few minutes with the relieving tears and Jamie listening to the sound of Dani’s breathing and the feel of her rapidly beating heart, both continued crying inconsolably. Pulling away, Jamie grabbed Dani’s face, who continued sobbing, keeping her eyes squeezed shut as she leant into Jamie’s hands. Jamie studied Dani, looking over every inch of her face, taking in the beauty she thought she might have lost, just as Dani let out a shaky breath, her throat swollen as she stuttered to speak to her girl, “I’m so sorry, Jamie.” The words were quiet, not quite formed as they left her lips, but Jamie heard them and she nodded her head.

“I know my love, I know, but you’re alright now, yeah?” She asked hopefully, praying this wasn’t some temporary thing and Dani wouldn’t go running for the lake the minute Jamie took her hands off her. 

“No, I’m so sorry, I just-” her words were cut off by an eager Jamie.

“Dani!” She cried, but Dani just continued talking.

“No, Jamie, I am sorry, I wish I hadn’t had to do that-”

Interrupted again, Jamie spoke, “No, Dani, you aren’t listening to me.”

“I’m trying to apologize, but you should-” for the last time, Dani’s words were cut off, this time by a longing kiss, it was quick, eager, but full of so much love that they both pulled away, slightly smiling.

“Dani, would you just listen to me for a minute, yeah?” She asked. The au pair nodded sadly, all she wanted to do was apologize and explain everything to Jamie. “Your eyes,” Jamie breathed, shaking her head softly, “your eyes are your own again, Dani.” She laughed, causing Dani to shake her head, as if it was too good to be true.

Pulling herself away from Jamie, Dani crawled the two feet it was to reach the water of the lake, Jamie fearfully grabbing her arms, thinking she was about to go under again, but instead Dani just stared at the water, the reflection causing her to shake her head.

“Do you see her?” Dani whispered softly as she sat, knees tucked under herself on the cold floor. Jamie sighed, go beside Dani to look at the reflection herself.

Jamie spoke the words she’d already said in the past, back when things started to really get bad in Dani’s mind, “No, Dani, I only see you.”

Dani slowly looked up at Jamie, their eyes interlocking as she whispered the words they both needed to hear right now, “Yeah, I saw me too.” The words were followed by a hiccup, Dani hadn’t seen her own reflection in so long, but she didn’t know what this meant. If she no longer had the lady in the lake's eye, and she saw her own reflection, could it possibly be? After all these years, could Dani be free of the lady in the lake?

“Why don’t we go home, yeah?” Jamie asked softly, taking Dani’s hand into her own as she stood up, pulling Dani with her. Dani felt weak, and so tired, but Jamie wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist, giving Dani’s temple a quick, reassuring kiss, and helped her walk back to the cab at the doors of the manor.


	3. Chapter Three

The car ride home was quiet, but peaceful all the same, Dani was resting undisturbed with her head on Jamie’s shoulder and hands in Jamie’s lap. While, of course, Jamie was tired, she couldn’t sleep, she didn’t even want to try, she was too worried about the au pair. She held onto Dani’s arms, her index and middle finger resting on the spot most optimal for feeling her pulse, focusing on the smooth rhythm of her heartbeat that played out like a slow song, and Jamie knew every word. After staring out the window for a while, Jamie looked down at her wife, she was so still, so quiet, Jamie could tell she was asleep by the pace of her breathing, but her brows were furrowed, as if she was in deep thought, perhaps a deep dream or maybe she was being tucked away. Whatever was going on in her mind, Jamie was hoping it was of comfort, not of fear. They didn’t have to be scared anymore, they were free from the horrors of the lady of the lake. 

After the bumpy ride home, they finally arrived in front of their home, Jamie gently rubbing Dani’s arms to slowly wake up Dani, she didn’t want to frighten her, they’d both had enough of that for the night, even for a lifetime. Dani’s eyes slowly opened, squinting at the bright light from the rising sun, she looked over to Jamie, smiling sweetly before they exited the car. Dani was feeling a bit off still, not like she had before the night though, it was different now, she thought, and hoped, she was just tired from the events that had unfolded in the past 24 hours. 

Walking into the familiar living space, Jamie was quick to usher the tired girl to bed, she got her out some comfortable clothes to wear and then went to get her some tea. As she got back in the room, mug in one hand and glass of water in the other, she set them both beside Dani on the nightstand, covering her up with the familiar sheets, and giving her a soft kiss on the forehead, then nose, then cheek, then finally a proper, loving, kiss on the lips.

“I love you so much,” Dani whispered, holding onto Jamie’s hand and trying to pull her to sit on the empty part of the bed, once she did, Dani happily leaned forward to give Jamie another kiss.

Without another second to bask in the moment of togetherness, Jamie popped up again, “Alright then, anything else I could do for you? Food! You need food.” Jamie decided.

“No, Jamie, I don’t want food,” Dani mumbled, looking away.  
“Oh, drinks!” Jamie stated, walking back to the door once more.

“Jamie, you already got me a drink.” Dani reminded her, lifting her hand back up to invite Jamie to the bed, but she didn’t budge. 

Jamie simply stood at the door, frozen for just a moment, “there ought to be something I can do for you?” Jamie asked hopefully, making Dani smile lovingly at her wife. This was exactly who Jamie was, trying to nurture Dani back to her bright self, just as she does with her plants, doing everything in her power to help, restless until content. Dani could tell Jamie was tired, didn’t blame her, they’d both been through a lot in the events leading up to this moment, but the only thing she needed was to have Jamie close. 

Between everything that’s happened Dani felt guilty, she wishes she’d never had to go back to the lake, her body still ached from the cold, her fingers brittle. She knows she had to do it, waking up next to Jamie, hands around her throat, it lit the fire under her that led her back to the lake. She couldn’t risk hurting her most important person, her best friend, the love of her life. She knew she had the choice, go to the lake and allow the lady to take her to the pits of hell that is the lake, or stay with Jamie, living their lives together for however many more years, but she couldn’t risk hurting Jamie, even if it meant them spending eternity forever. Dani couldn’t take her down, Dani would never.

“Jamie,” she sighed, softly, running her fingers through her tangled hair, “the only thing that I need right now is you. So please?” She asked, her eyes droopy as she continued to hold her hand up until Jamie grabbed it. 

Avoiding eye contact, Jamie sat beside Dani at the edge of the bed, her hand placed on the au pairs thigh, she could see Dani staring at her out of the corner of her eye, but refused to look back at her. It pained them both, but Jamie felt like she might break. She had always been the optimist, but after losing Dani, even if for just a brief moment, it hurt her more than she could ever put into words. She couldn’t help but think that the lady would come back for Dani, visit in the deep of the night, whispering with her hoarse voice for Dani to go back into the lake. To drown herself once more in the deepest part of the haunted body of water. The thought terrified her, if there was one thing in the world she never wants to experience it’s losing Dani again.

Jamie also couldn’t shake the feeling that, as much as she hated to feel so, she was upset with Dani. She understood that it wasn’t necessarily Dani’s choice, it was the lady’s, but it was partly Dani’s choice, she didn’t have to go when she did, didn’t have to try and leave while Jamie was sleeping with the certainty that Dani would be there when she woke. Feeling upset with Dani like this gutted her, she didn’t understand how she could be feeling so selfish? Dani  _ died _ , her heart wasn’t beating, her cheeks weren’t full of beautiful color, her lungs were filled with water, she was gone. She suffered for years with the haunting of the lady, yet Jamie still felt upset with her, not mad necessarily, but upset.

“Jamie?” Dani breathed her name like the first breath she took after the water left her lungs, desperate.

“Yeah, love?” Jamie asked, still refusing to turn her head towards the governess.

“Are you not gonna look at me?” Dani’s voice broke, all she wanted was to be with Jamie, why wouldn’t the gardener look at her? Was she mad? Did she hate her for what she had done? 

Jamie didn’t answer, just continued to stare at the wall across from them. Dani shook her head, she wasn’t crying, she had no more tears left to cry tonight, but she felt like she was crying. Dani stood up quickly, a little too quick as her legs almost gave under her, but she weakly walked out the bedroom door.

“Dani?” Jamie asked, finally looking at her love who was making her way to the bathroom, but Dani did not respond.

Jamie walked to the bathroom door, cursing herself for upsetting Dani after everything she’d been through. Jamie could hear the water running and sighed, assuming the au pair was just taking a bath, so Jamie waited. She sat against the wall across from the door, staring at it. She hadn’t meant to upset Dani, she just had a lot of different emotions swelling up in her and didn’t quite know what to say to her loving wife. The minutes felt like hours and Jamie was so, so tired, she tried to stay awake, she really did, but sleep began to consume her and she fell asleep, staring at the door, waiting for her lover to walk through it.


	4. Chapter Four

Jamie woke up, not quite knowing what time it was, but she could tell it had been quite a while. She grew a little more worried for the au pair and pushed herself up to the door, knocking softly.

“Poppins?” She called out, putting her ear against the door to listen, but she didn’t hear anything. She knocked again, no response. She reached for the knob, turning it to discover the door hadn’t been locked. As she walked in, the scene unfolded before her eyes. Dani was fully clothed in the tub, head underwater, looking as peaceful as she did when she slept. Jamie gasped, taken aback as she made her way to the tub, pulling Dani out, she held her lifeless body, sobbing into the cold crook of Dani’s neck. “Please,” she cried, “Please, why did you have to do it again?” 

As she rocked back and forth, she felt a hand on her shoulder, turning abruptly she saw Dani, looking down at her. She had to do a double take, looking back and forth between the two Dani’s. One lifeless, and one seemed to be changing, her eyes slowly disappearing.

“No, Dani, not you, please not you,” she whispered, turning back to the Dani in the tub. 

“Wake up, Jamie,” the faceless Dani said, “wake up.” And she did, hazed and confused she opened her eyes to Dani leaning down next to her, her hand against her jaw as her thumb rubbed her cheek.

“Are you okay? It seemed like you were having a nightmare. ” Dani asked, concerned, her eyebrows wrinkled as she studied the gardener's face. 

Jamie smiled, “I reckon I’m alright now,” she smiled, leaning in and kissing Dani as she rested her hand on her hip. “What do you say we go back to bed?” She asked, receiving a nod from Dani as they both stood, hand in hand, walking towards the bedroom. They laid down in the bed and Dani laid her head on Jamie’s chest, listening to her heartbeat.

After a few minutes of silence, Dani spoke up, “Are you okay?” 

“Are you okay?” Jamie responded, setting her hand on Dani’s back, rubbing up and down.

“I’m fine, I’m alive. Are you okay though?” She repeated the words softly.

“Poppins, I’m fine, it was just a stressful thing to go through.” Jamie replied flatly, staring at the wall.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Dani responded, allowing silence to fall over them for a few more minutes. With her head still facing away from Jamie, Dani spoke up once again, “Are you mad at me?” Her words came out as a whisper, sounding as if she might break.

“No love, of course not.” Jamie answered, moving her head forward to kiss the back of Dani’s head. “It’s just,” she paused, there were about a million things Jamie wanted to say, wanted to know. After taking in a shaky breath, she asked “why didn’t you say goodbye?” Another steady silence fell over the two as Dani struggled to answer.

“Would you have said goodbye?”

“Of course I would Dan!”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes, yes I do.” The tension in the room had risen and they both were getting pretty upset, though still Dani had her head on Jamie’s chest, facing away from her.

“Jamie, you have no idea how hard it was to leave you like that. It hurt me  _ so  _ much, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, it was like I didn’t start drowning when I got under the water, I started drowning the moment I was away from you. I knew if I had woken you up to say goodbye, you would’ve tried to convince me to stay. It would’ve worked too. I would’ve listened to anything you were saying and laid down again with you, just as we are now, only it wouldn’t be me laying with you. It would be  _ her _ . I couldn’t risk hurting you, Jamie,” Dani shifted her position, sitting up so she now was facing the gardener, “I love you completely, with every bone in my body, from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. I would do anything for you, you know that right?”

“Of course I know that Poppins, and I would do anything for you too,” Jamie followed the au pairs movements and sat up, “but do you know how that felt? Waking up and finding out you were gone? I thought I was never gonna get to see you again, the delicate features of your beautiful, perfect face.” Jamie brought her hand up and moved a piece of hair from Dani’s face, tears falling from both of them as Jamie slid her hand across Dani’s jawline, stopping and gently holding her chin, “Thought I’d never get to kiss your wonderful lips, ever again,” she ran of thumb over Dani’s bottom lip, then brought her hand down to grab one of Dani’s. “Thought I’d never get to hold your hand again. Or tell you I love you. Or hear your marvelous laugh. Or watch stupid romance movies that I can’t say I particularly enjoy, but I watch em for you,” she joked as they both let out a slight chuckle.

They stared into eachother eyes for a moment, before Jamie straightened herself up again, “It hurt Dani, worse than anything I’ve ever felt. We knew the day would come, of course we did, but I didn’t think it’d be so sudden, didn’t think I’d get a no warning, didn’t think I would wake up to find you gone without a word.”

“I left a note.”

“Dani,” Jamie looked down at their intertwined hands, bringing them up to her lips and kissing Dani’s knuckles softly. “I thought I had lost you. The moment I knew you were gone I got this feeling like my chest was caving in on itself, and it hasn’t gone away, I know,” Jamie took in a quick breath, her voice failing her as the tears started falling harder. “I know you are right here in front of me, and I’m holding your hand. You’re alive, I know that, but part of me can’t help, but feel like you’re still gone. Like maybe this is all a dream and I couldn’t save you, like nothing-.”

Dani cut her off, shaking her head, “No Jamie, I’m  _ right  _ here. You did save me, this is real. We’re together. I’m so sorry I didn’t say goodbye, I know I should have. If I had though, I never would’ve gone back to Bly. I wouldn’t have died, you wouldn’t have brought me back. I would still be here, sure, but I wouldn’t be myself. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, yeah you’re right.”

“Well of course I am,” Dani said, cheekily smiling at Jamie. “I really am sorry though, Jamie.”

“I suppose I could forgive you,” she grinned, “now what do you say to  _ really  _ make it up to each other?” She added, receiving a grin from Dani as they fell into eachothers arms.


	5. Chapter Five

“Hey, what’s for breakfast?” Dani asked, walking into the kitchen, scrunching her nose at the smell of something burning.

“Well, it was gonna be pancakes, but that didn’t work out.” Jamie sighed, tossing the pancakes in the trash and setting the plate in the sink, she felt hands snake around her hips and grinned, laying her hands on top of the au pairs.

“How did you sleep?” Dani smiled, kissing the gardeners shoulder and then resting her chin in the same spot.

“Well enough, and you?”

Jamie turned around, staying in Dani’s arms, and gave her a tender kiss, “Well I slept very well, woke up very chipper, but sadly the bliss ended with this mess.” Jamie sighed, looking at the kitchen causing Dani to laugh and lay her forehead on Jamie’s shoulder.

“It’s nothing new honey,” she grinned, teasing her wife as she pulled away, “what do you say we just have some bagels for breakfast then heading to The Leafling and open up shop for the day?” 

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Jamie responded, giving Dani a quick kiss on the cheek, while Dani grabbed bagels and put them into a to go bag, Jamie headed to the door and threw her jacket on, she grabbed another and held it up for Dani to slide her arms into.

Jamie opened the door to leave, but Dani stopped it, “you know, on second thought we could just stay here for a little while longer?” The au pair suggested, grabbing the gardeners hand while grinning, but Jamie shook her head.

“It was your idea?” The gardener replied, giving Dani a quick kiss on the lips, “that enough to get you through the day?” She asked, tilting her head.  
“Hmm, not quite, maybe just one more?” Dani suggested planting another kiss on Jamie's lips, this one a bit longer.

“Now I feel like I don’t have enough,” Jamie teased, frowning at her wife.

“Exactly,” she replied, grabbing Jamie’s face and giving her yet another passionate kiss.

“Alright, alright, you goof,” Jamie grinned, pulling away breathlessly, tilting her head at Dani.

“That was enough for me, if it was enough for you?” She quipped.

“I reckon that was enough for me, yeah.” Jamie responded, and they finally headed out the door and to the shop.

They arrived at the shop in no time and Dani threw away the bag that once held the bagels that they ate on the way here. They both did their daily opening up rituals and soon enough Jamie was turning the sign on the door to officially open for the day. It was a decently normal day for them, but they both were thinking about the events that had happened a couple nights before. Jamie subconsciously refused to get too far from Dani, sneaking glances with one another throughout the day. Every once in a while, when they were across the room from each other and or customers were near, one of them would tap their nose 3 times, a silent signal they’d made a while ago to say ‘I love you.’ 

As they were about to close for the day, a man walked in holding a picture, bringing it right up to the counter where Jamie was standing. “Well hello there,” he smiled, causing Jamie to look up and smile politely.

“Hi, what can I do for you today?” She asked, her customer service voice popping out immensely, he held up the picture that was of a beautiful bouquet of flowers. 

“I was wondering if you would be able to recreate this?” He asked, Jamie grabbed the picture and examined it closely, taking note of what flowers it included, nodding her head.

“Yeah, I’m sure we could, when do you need it? We close in,” she paused, looking down at her watch, “well we close in about 30 seconds.” Jamie laughed.

“I could come by tomorrow about this time if that would work?” He asked, in which she nodded, the man then leaned against the counter, “So you’re closing soon? Could I assume you’d be up for a drink?” 

“With you?” Jamie replied, scrunching her eyebrows.

“Well, yeah, with me,” the man grinned.

A voice popped out from beside them as Dani walked around the corner, smiling politely at the man, “Sorry bud, but I think the ring on your finger means you’re already taken, in case you’d forgotten.”

Flustered, the man looked down at his hand and instinctively shoved it into his pocket, hiding the ring, “heh, yeah, right.”

Dani tilted her head, her smile not reaching her eyes, “so you got all you need here or?”

“No, yeah, I’ll be back tomorrow to get that bouquet,” he replied, clearly embarrassed. Jamie laughed as he walked out the door, turning to Dani who was walking behind him to turn the sign from open to closed.

“I did no like that,” she grunted cutely, walking back behind the counter and leaning against it, crossing her arms as Jamie did some finishing touches to finish closing.

“Oh really now? I hadn’t noticed,” Jamie teased, grabbing one of Dani’s hands, both of them glancing out the window to make sure no one was around. “You know, it’s quite cute when you get jealous.”

“I wasn’t jealous!” Dani frowned defensively, causing Jamie to chuckle.

“Uh-huh, sure.” Jamie teased, bringing Dani’s hand to her lips and kissing her knuckles softly. 

“I was not,” she grinned innocently.

“Well then, that’s good,” Jamie smiled, getting closer to Dani and kissing her neck to tease the au pair a bit. Dani chuckled, then lightly pushed Jamie back, tilting her head at the door.

“Open windows honey,” she reminded, smiling sadly.

“I ought to be able to kiss my wife.” Jamie huffed, fiddling with Dani’s fingers.

“I know, but it isn’t exactly accepted.”

“It’s real shit,” Jamie replied, as Dani smiled softly, “I know it bugs you that we can’t be open about us, but we know.”

“We know, and that’s enough for me,” Dani reassured, “just wish I was able to hit on you during the day like that guy was, don’t blame him though, have you seen yourself?” Dani grinned, looking Jamie up and down.

“Poppins, you flirt,” Jamie teased, grinning at her loving wife.

“I know one day we’ll be able to kiss each other anytime we want.”

“One day, Poppins.”


	6. Chapter Six

“It’s you, it’s me, it’s us. It’s you, it’s me, it’s us. It’s you, it’s me, it’s us.” 

Dani lifted her head, hearing the words repeat over and over, turning her head she saw Jamie laying down on her stomach, mumbling the words in her sleep.

“Jamie, what’s up babe?” Dani whispered, rubbings Jamie’s bare back softly to wake her. 

“You, me, us.” Jamie mumbled once more before opening her eyes slowly. Dani smiled, glad the words had stopped. Those words haunted her back from the night she invited Viola inside herself. Jamie squeezed her eyes shut once again, trying to adjust to the light until they landed on Dani.

“Hey, were you dreaming?” Dani asked, curious as to why her wife had been repeating the words over and over. That’s when she got a good look at Jamie’s face and saw the sad look in her face, almost looking as if she must cry.

“Uh, no, I wasn’t.” She mumbled, bringing one of her hands to Dani’s face, rubbing her cheek softly. Dani smiled at the affection, leaning into it and kissing Jamie’s palm.

“You sounded like it, are you okay?” Dani asked, her eyes sincere as she looked concerned at the gardener.

“I’m fine Dani,” Jamie said, her voice breaking a bit as Dani instinctively moved closer, offering comfort to her wife.

“You don’t sound fine Jamie, what’s wrong? Did you have a nightmare?”

“No, Dani, I’m fine,” Jamie said, resting her head in her hands, trying to hold it together. 

“Jamie, please, you have always been the strong one for me, now let me return the favor,” Dani pleaded quietly, leaning to kiss Jamie’s shoulder, before laying her head back down to wait for the gardener's response.

“I just had another dream about  _ that  _ night.” Jamie responded, tilting her head back at the au pair, smiling sadly, “I know you’re here now though, that’s all that matters.”

“I am here, and I’m your girl, always.” Dani reassured, intertwining her hand with Jamie’s.

“You are my girl, Poppins,” Jamie smiled, looking relieved for a moment. “I’m happy it’s you.” Dani knew what Jamie was talking about, knew she was talking about how Viola wasn’t present anymore, at least from what they’d gathered. Dani had died, her part of the deal was up, even if Jamie did bring her back.

“You know what, I’m very happy you’re  _ my _ girl.” Dani responded, kissing Jamie, “my dream girl,” she added, kissing her again.

It was crazy how fast Dani could flip Jamie’s mood around, just moments ago she was ready to curl up into a ball, yet now she’s staring lovingly at her wife. “I feel so much more free now, you know? She isn’t looming over me anymore, over us. It’s just us. You and me.”

“You and me against the world,” Jamie added, pulling Dani into her arms.

“I never wanna lose this you know? I feel so safe with you.” Dani admitted easily, and Jesus Christ, Jamie’s heart felt like it was gonna explode. She couldn’t believe just how pure and sweet the love of her life was. She was so unbelievably happy that Dani felt safe with her, and she was safe with Dani as well.

“You aren’t ever gonna have to lose me, you’re kinda stuck with me. Poppins,” Jamie smiled, tapping the ring on Dani’s finger.

“God, I love you so much, Jamie.” Dani said, turning her body to face the gardener and give her a longing kiss. The past few days had been terrifying, a strange feeling looming over the both of them following the events of the lake, but today, right now, all she felt was pure peace and love.

“I love you more, Danielle,” Jamie smiled, peppering kisses down Dani’s neck. As a knock was heard at their door, Dani groaned, starting to sit up. “Ignore it,” Jamie stated, between the kisses she continued to give Dani. 

While Dani was originally gonna agree, another knock was heard and they both groaned, knowing that whoever was knocking at 10PM, obviously had something important as they knocked multiple times.

“Okay, stay right here, do not move.” Dani demanded, giving Jamie one last kiss as she sat up and put some clothes on quickly. As she started walking out the door, Jamie whistled, causing her to blush and wink back at the girl. When Dani got to the door and opened it, her jaw dropped at the sight, probably the last person in the world she was expecting to see.

“Mom?” She asked, shocked and causing Jamie to jump up in their room to throw clothes on.

“Danielle, sweetie I missed you!” Her mother exclaimed, bringing her in for a big hug. That’s when she saw Jamie slowly walking out of the room, “Oh well, hello, you must be Danielle’s roommate?” Dani and Jamie both internally cringed, as Jamie smiled brightly.

“Yes, hello! It’s very nice to meet you Mrs. Clayton.” Jamie smiled, shaking Dani’s mom’s hand.

“Oh, please, call me Susan.” Susan replied sweetly as Dani looked at her with a tight lipped smile.

“What are you doing here, mom?” Dani asked, trying to be as polite as possible, desperately wanting to get back to what her and Jamie were doing before the interruption. 

“Danielle I haven’t seen you in years, I missed you. Thought I might as well visit you for a couple days,” Her mother stated, causing her to nod, not believing it all that much.

“Okay, well it’s late,” Dani sighed, “we have 2 rooms so I’ll take you to the guest room,” Dani grumbled, before catching herself. “I mean, well, it’s  _ my  _ room, but it can be a guest room for you, I’m tired.” Dani lied, trying to cover up for the fact that she and Jamie were not just roommates, and they shared a room, a bed.

“That is so sweet of you dear!” Susan nodded, gesturing for Dani to lead the way, as they left Jamie in the front room, Dani looked back, receiving a wink from her wife.

“Okay mom, this is it. I’ll probably sleep in the living room so, yeah. I have work tomorrow, so I’ll be up around 6, I know you like to sleep in so don’t feel like you need to wake up that early as well,” Dani stated, trying to be as polite as possible. She didn;t exactly have a good relationship with her mom. 

“Alright, sleep well honey!” Her mom smiled as Dani shut the door and left.

Dani walked back into the living room where Jamie was waiting patiently and let her head fall in defeat as Jamie hugged her. 

“This is gonna be a fun few days,” Dani groaned, “I’m gonna sleep in the living room, alright?”

“What? Dani, why? I don’t like sleeping without you.” Jamie frowned, interlocking their hands.

“I know baby, but my mom doesn’t know about us. I’ll tell her tomorrow, I promise. Just for tonight.” Dani smiled, kissing Jamie’s cheek.

“What about what we were doing before?” Jamie added, raising an eyebrow. Dani smirked, turning to the hallway and seeing the guest room light was off.

“Okay, but we have to be quiet,” Dani giggled, pulling Jamie towards the bedroom.


	7. Chapter Seven

Dani opened her eyes squinting as she sat up, her neck ached from sleeping on the couch, causing her to groan. Looking into the kitchen she saw Jamie sitting at the island, sipping tea.

“What time is it?” Dani mumbled, stretching her arms into the air.

“Shop opens in 30 minutes,” Jamie said, smiling softly while walking over to the living room and giving Dani a soft kiss on her head, then sat on the couch beside her.

“30 minutes? We have to leave in like 5 minutes, I haven’t even gotten ready yet.” Dani gasped, going to stand as Jamie grabbed her arm to stop her.

“No need to worry about that, I got it covered, you spend the day with your mum,” Jamie insisted, yawning.

“Oh, Jamie, no. You seem so tired anyway,” Dani frowned, sitting back down beside her.

“Dani, I insist, you haven’t seen her in years. I’m just a bit tired cause I didn’t sleep well last night, you know I hate sleeping in bed without you.” Jamie smiled, setting her hand on Dani’s thigh.

“Same for me, I’m not a fan,” she smiled, “but really, you don’t have to, she can go around the city sightseeing or something.”

“Great idea! You can take her.” Jamie smiled, kissing her wife quickly before standing.

“Jamie,” Dani groaned, standing as well.

“Listen love, trust me, there’s nothing I want more than to stay with you today. It’s gonna be our first day apart since Bly 2.0, I’ll miss you and be worried like crazy, but you haven’t seen your mum in years and have barely talked to her. I’ll even close at noon, a couple hours earlier. You said she wouldn’t get up till around 10 anyways, so that way you won't be alone the entire day.” Jamie explained, pulling Dani into a hug.

“Okay, fine. I’ll miss you.” Dani mumbled, frowning into Jamie’s shoulder. They hadn’t left each other's sight nearly at all since Dani briefly died. Plus Dani was dreading being alone with her mother. She knew Jamie could handle the store by herself, but that still stressed her out as well.

“Miss you always, I love you Poppins,” Jamie grinned, pulling out of the hug and giving Dani another kiss.

“I love you too,” Dani smiled, walking to the kitchen as Jamie walked out the door. She looked at the counter to see a cup of tea and a note saying “ _ goodluck poppins, love you!”  _ Dani grinned, sipping on the tea.

After finishing she began doing some chores and making things nice and tidy before making breakfast, then getting ready for the day. By the time she exited the bathroom from doing the minimal makeup she wears, her mom was sitting in the living room, flipping through the newspaper.

“Goodmorning Danielle,” her mom smiled, standing up and following her to the kitchen.  
“Morning mom, would you like some breakfast?” Dani asked, smiling politely.

“Sure sweetie,” Susan replied, taking a seat at the bar stool. Dani brought both the plates over and sat them down, before sitting next to her mom.

“So how have you been Danielle? I haven’t seen you in so long.” Her mother asked between bites.

“I'm good, mom, we spoke on the phone just the other day.” Dani reminded her.

“Yeah, right,” Susan smiled, continuing to eat. “You know next week is the anniversary of Edmund’s death, how are you dealing? I know it’s been a while, but I’m sure,” Susan tried to continue but Dani cut her off.

“Mom, can we not please?” Dani snapped, shaking her head, she didn’t want to think about that right now.

“Sorry sweetie, how about your roommate? She seems nice.” Susan changed the topic, picking at her food.

“Yeah, she’s great,” Dani smiled before straightening her back and turning to her mom. “Actually there was something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What is it?” Susan asked, sensing the seriousness in her daughter's voice.

“Uh, well, Jamie isn’t exactly my friend, well she is, she’s my best friend, but she’s also my,” Dani paused, looking at her moms eyes, “well, she’s my wife.” Dani mumbled.

“Danielle don’t be ridiculous, plus you aren’t even wearing a ring.” Her mother denied.

“Well, yeah, I took it off last night when you showed up.” Dani mumbled.

“You’re serious?” Susan asked, clenching her jaw.

“Yes, mom, I’m serious.”

“Is this some kind of guilt about Eddie? Like you don’t want to ever be with another guy because you feel bad? What is this?” Susan accused, causing Dani to shake her head.

“No mom, this has nothing to do with him, it’s about me. Me and Jamie.” Dani whispered, hopefulness in her voice. Her mother had never been the best, but this was one moment she really just needed her to be the mom she’s always wanted.

“No, you’re not married.” Susan stood.

“Mom, I am. Jamie is my wife and has been for many years. We’ve been together 13 years.” Dani defended, standing as well.

“Dani, I don’t know what to say to you right now.” Susan whispered, walking back to the guest room. Dani sat down in defeat, assuming her mom was just going to cool off. Though, once her mom walked back in with her bags and towards the door she stood again.

“Mom?” Dani asked, causing Susan to pause, hesitating to turn around.

“Yes, Danielle?”

“Where are you going?” Dani asked, her voice quiet, about as small as she felt right now.

“Home, and I don’t want you to ever speak to me about this again, I’ll call you next Saturday, as always.” Susan mumbled, not looking at her daughter before walking out the door.

Dani stood there for a moment before the tears started to spill as she swiped both the plates off the counter and onto the ground, shattering. Pacing back and forth Dani contemplated every life choice she’d ever made. Walking into the bathroom, she began to run the water in the sink to wash her face, trying to cool down. Dani stared into the mirror, her face red and puffy, tears falling down her cheeks softly. 

In that moment Dani wanted nothing more than to see The Lady in the Lake staring back at her, or really any face beside her own. In this moment Dani would have traded to be anyone else to not feel like this. Rejected. Rejected by the woman who birthed her and was supposed to protect her. Letting out a loud sob, Dani swiftly punched the mirror, feeling the glass shatter around her.


	8. Chapter Eight

Jamie walked into the front door, seeing the food and plates shattered on the ground. Instantly she called out for Dani, first checking their room, then when she didn’t see her she continued on to the bathroom. Knocking softly, Jamie laid her head on the door.

“Dani, honey, are you in there?” She asked, her voice gentle, curious and concerned as of the events that had unfolded between when she left for work and now. After a few moments of no response, Jamie opened the door to find her wife hiding her head in her knees and crying softly.

“Oh, baby, what happened?” Jamie asked softly, approaching her wife as she crouched down , careful to avoid the glass shattered on the ground. She quickly realized what had caused it as she saw the blood on Dani’s knuckles. Grabbing the wounded hand with one of her own, Jamie shook her head.

“Jamie,” the single word broke out of Dani’s mouth as a sob, shaking along with her entire body.

“Come on then,” Jamie mumbled, swiftly picking Dani up bridal style and carrying her to their room to get away from the glass shards on the floor. Carrying the blonde was an easy task, as Jamie had built quite a bit of strength from constant outdoor activities that come with gardening.

Setting Dani softly to sit at the edge of the beed, Jamie crouched down in front of her, “What happened love?” Jamie asked, wiping the tears from Dani’s cheeks as she patiently waited for Dani to be ready. They sat there for a few moments, Dani not yet ready to speak, her breaths shaky and slow, Jamie knew she needed a second to gather herself.

Just when she had seemed to calm down, the words flew out of her mouth painfully, backtracking from all the calming down she had done. “She didn’t accept me Jamie, didn’t accept us.” Dani cried, bringing her hands to her face as she violently shook. Jamie quickly got up to sit next to Jamie and pulled Dani’s head into her chest.

“Breathe honey, breathe.”

“All I wanted,” Dani paused, trying to compose herself, “all I’ve wanted my entire life was my mom to be, I don’t know, the mom I always wanted. To accept me, to love me and support me, you know?” Dani paused once more, pulling herself from Jamie as she sat up. “It’s supposed to be more accepted now, you know?”

“I know baby, I know it sucks and I just wish I could take all your pain away,” Jamie whispered, kissing the side of Dani’s face as she rubbed her arm affectionately.

“I hadn’t seen her in 13 years. 13 years Jamie and she left because she’s mad that I’m in love with you. With a woman.” Dani ranted, shaking her head as she looked back up at Jamie. “I love you. I love you more than I ever thought I could love someone,” Dani paused, starting to get worked up again as Jamie pulled her in for more comfort. “I love you so much, so why can’t she just accept me? Why doesn’t she accept me? Jamie I would do anything for that, but it won't happen. Maybe you should’ve just let the lady in the lake take me.” Dani cried, shaking her head as Jamie held her, her grip tightening as Dani choked out those last words. 

“I know, baby, I know. I love you so much.” Jamie comforted. Seeing Dani like this made her chest hurt, all she wanted was to be able to be there for Dani and to make her feel better. The shaking girl in her arms brought a single tear down her cheek, trying to keep it together for Dani, she needed her right now. Knowing that this pained Dani so much that she wouldn’t want to be here anymore is one of the worst feelings Jamie has ever felt.

After Dani had calmed down a bit, Jamie quickly moved to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and offer it to her wife, which was declined with a slight move of her hand. Not wanting to push it, Jamie set the water on the nightstand and stood in front of Dani, who was sadly avoiding the gardener's gaze. Jamie gently placed her hands on each side of Dani’s face, kissing the top of her head gently.

“I know,” Jamie hesitated on her words, not wanting to say the wrong thing at this moment. “I know it hurts my love, and I truly wish there was something I could do to take all this pain away from you. I mean bloody hell, if I could I would endure every pain you’ve ever felt just so you don’t have to. I’m sorry your mum isn’t ready to accept you, and if I thought it would help the cause any I would have a few not so nice words with her. No one hurts my wife like, I don’t care if she was the one to bring you into this world.” Jamie paused, taking a deep breath, the last thing Dani needed right now was her to get hot headed and wanting to throw some things, so she brought her voice back down, softly, the words left her mouth.

“She brought you into this world, and because of that fact I can’t hate her, because thanks to you I get to have you in my world. Scratch that, you are my world Dani.” Jamie placed another tender kiss on Dani’s head, letting her lips rest there for a moment as she sighed. “Can you look at me for a second, love?”

After a moment of hesitation, Dani lifted her gaze to meet Jamie’s, the hurt behind the au pairs eyes made Jamie want nothing more than to get rid of every broken piece of this world to keep her safe. “Dani, you know how incredibly in love I am with you, right?”

Without skipping a beat, Dani nodded, letting out a hushed “yeah.”

“I know how badly this hurt you, and I would give anything to take away that pain, but baby hearing you say you wished the lady in the lake succeeded,” Jamie paused, taking in a shaking breath, trying to keep it together for Dani. “I don’t know what I would do without you Dani. I would be so incredibly lost, void of happiness, void of purpose, void of the best damn thing in my life.” Dani’s tears were slower now, her hand subconsciously raising as she placed it on Jamie’s waist, her thumb moving up and down softly. 

“I don’t know what I would do if I had to come home and lay in this bed without you. I don’t know what I would do without your smile, laugh, or hands to hold. Just the thought of not having you with my rips a hole through my heart. I’m sorry your mom doesn’t see what an amazing woman you are, what love you’re worthy of, but I do. You’re so gentle, kind, and before I met you I thought that maybe plants were the only pure things in this world. I fell so madly in love with you Dani, the first day I told you I loved you I thought that that was the peak of love for me, but everyday my love for you grew more and more. I can’t lose that, I don’t think I could bear it, ever.”

Jamie’s words got quicker as the desperation to make Dani feel better rose, “I know you’re hurting, so tell me what I can do to take the pain away. I’ll do anything. Name it, okay? I’m serious, whatever you think is gonna help you right now-”

Dani cut her off, still sitting down she wrapped her arms around Jamie’s torso and held on tightly, the tears already seeping through the fabric of Jamie’s shirt, “just hold me.”

“I got you,” Jamie whispered, resting one hand on the back of Dani’s neck as the other rubbed her back softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors Note  
> the support i’ve gotten for this book is insane and i’m so glad you’re all enjoying it! I got super busy with school but i’m hoping to try to start updating more frequently:)


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